Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
