It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
